Wednesday, December 23, 2009

So Unique

“So Unique”

My eyes opened early,
Sometime around two.
I can only assume it is because,
I miss you.

Thanksgiving has come,
And it has gone.
I suppose I have been weak,
But I have been strong.

But this is a Christmas,
So unique,
In its own light.
For it is the first without you,
And I am unsure,
Of if or when to fight.


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

These Holiday Days

"These Holiday Days"

They feel so empty
These holiday days
Magical illusions I miss
In so many ways

Looking for this years trinkets
This year's teddy bear
Glittering memories
Of never there

Shopping together
For family and friends
So many precious moments
Well, that depends

Only seemingly special
Lies compounding lies
Snowflake teardrops
Fall from my eyes

Magical illusions
As insignificant as me 
The magic of a season
I no longer see

Snowflake teardrops

They feel so empty
These holiday days
Magical illusions I miss
In so many ways



Sunday, December 13, 2009

No Remorse or Hesitation

"No Remorse or Hesitation"

What did you think,
would go through my mind?
With no remorse or hesitation,
you left me behind.

A total disregard.
As if I were never here.
For me.
For my tears.
What did you think,
that I would do?
As you obliterated,
all that I knew.

Just four weeks.
That’s how long you “tried".
To let me adjust.
To six years of lies.

What did you want?
Or expect to see?
When you took all I believed,
Away from me.

Dg 12/05

Saturday, November 28, 2009

At Least You Know

"At Least You Know"

Well I have to say
It was enlightening to see
What they have been told
What your “friends” think of me

So I’m the bi-polar insane
That crazy psycho ex
I really can’t wait
What will they say next

I guess that I’m really
Not all that surprised
And nobody noticed
The tears in my eyes

So that’s all I was
Is that all I did
Not the person always there for you
Not knowing what you hid

They probably don’t know
How I stood by you
At your side at everyturn
And this is what you do

Did you tell them how I was
When you were between work
How I tried to make you feel better
In spite of what it took

Me supporting you
Always at your side
Never once degrading you
When all you did was hide

Did you tell them
When I took your family in
So they could have a chance
To start again

Does it make it better
Leaving out the words you do
That must make you feel better
When you think about you

I suppose that’s all forgotten
Didn’t really mean a thing
You’re living your life now
Moving on with your next fling

So when you have chewed him up
And finally spit him out
Will your “friends” still wonder
What this is all about

Or will he just be another ex
That hangs out with the crowd
You have so many ex's now
You must be very proud

I suppose none of this matters
It is all in the past
Why should I let it bother me
Why should I still ask

Why you just used me
Why you never tried
Why your loving me
Was always just some lies

None of it worth saying
Wasn’t worth the words
Just that psycho bi-polar ex
That is what I heard

I wish I could erase your memory
That at least is very true
But at least you know I loved
And once believed in you


Thursday, November 26, 2009

Remembering The Memories

 “Remembering The Memories”

A flash.
A moment.

Some tears,
Fall from my eyes.
Happy moments equal tears?
I should not have to cry.
Memories built on a foundation,
That always knew.
It would always be alone,
Somehow knowing it was true

Memories built on lies,
On the power of pure belief.
Up high upon a tower,
Where no force can offer relief.

Memories, memories.
Sadness burrows into he smiles.
Laughter fades,
Against the years and the miles.


Some can make me smile,
But they all make me sad.
Remembering the memories,
That I never should have had.


I know the territory,
I’ve been around.
It’ll all turn to dust,
And we’ll all fall down.

*the stanza above isn’t mine it’s from the song by MeatLoaf, “I Would Do Anything For Love”.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


"I Roar Out Against The Dark"

My eyes flutter open
Something passes over me
This is so dark a place
How has this come to be

I know I have been chained
For far too long
The chains are so heavy
They are so strong

The weary starts to take me
The peaceful void of sleep
Something stirs within me
Something buried deep

The smallest voice
Speaks within
My eyes flash open
Wide again

The darkness knows
That it cannot hide
But still it swells
As I reach out my mind

The darkness tries
To wrap me tight
But past the dark
I sense the light

I take a hold
I beckon it in
The darkness knows
It cannot win

I raise my head
Against my fears
Lying in puddles
Of wasted tears

The chains now old
Are covered with rust
So tired, so heavy
But I know that I must

I stretch myself
I break the chains

I roar out against the dark

Dg - 12/05 

It Shouldn't Take Too Long

"It Shouldn’t Take Too Long"

Would you tell me a story?
Or sing for me a song?
I just really need to rest a bit. It shouldn’t be too long.

Tell a story, full of dreams, that can come true.
Where the love of your life, is holding fast to you.

With kisses in the morning and I love you more goodnights.
Reaching out, to touch your hair, in the warmth of morning light.

True to each other, as we promised we would be.
You know I am here for you.
As I know you are for me.

Can you tell me a story?
Or sing for me a song?
I just need to rest a bit. It shouldn’t be too long.

I fear this part of me is dying and just about to fade.

The part of me, that can believe, is about to be unmade.

So please whisper me the story.
So please whisper me the song.

I just need to close my eyes.
It shouldn’t take too long.


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Two Is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls & Taylor Swift - w/lyrics

While there is truth in the startling discovery, in the awakening realization and unyielding belief that two is better than one.

There is truth that this belief carries with it an immeasurable joy that may best be described as blinding in its beauty.

Yet, within this belief, even in its infinite power, even in its limitless light, it is but a speck in the vast expanse of a stark reality.

In spite of the apparent unending power of an endless truth, or the sheer force of an infinite belief, that two is better than one.

There is nothing that compares to the utterly endless uncompromising void that is fact.

There never were two.

having said that, I still love this song...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Ghost Hunting at Memorial Hall-Kansas City, Ks

Last Friday (11-13-09) my friend Kim and I went ghost hunting with actual ghost hunters. They are members of PRI, Paranormal Research Investigators.

Here is their website:

Here is the site we booked the visit through:

When we arrived at 8, they already had all of the equipment set up. We were there till between 1:30 and 2:00 am. For the most part it is setting and listening.

We were able to set and investigate in three different rooms. The Chapel (upstairs) here we heard voices, knocking and some other strange sounds.

The Auditorium very similar to the Chapel in what we experienced but there was a very loud sound that we could not determine its place of origin.

Then the Cafeteria, when we were down there nothing much happened.

I really enjoyed it. I think I'd like to go again.

At the very least it was an amazing opportunity to see Memorial Hall when there were only 11 people inside.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Don't Ask Don't Tell

Don't Ask Don't Tell

"Don't Ask Don't Tell"

Don’t ask
Don’t tell
Now that’s a story
We know too well

What if you could choose
To live and be hated
Or live and be loved
Desires not sated

We may not be black
We may not be red
But in most any church
We’re better off dead

What if you would be hated
But could easily hide
And be seen as normal
In your families eyes

You can come in my house
But please don’t touch
This part of reality
Is just too much

You can live together
But no mess no fuss
Could you please move
To the back of the bus

God doesn’t love us
So why should you
I mean it’s all in the Bible
So it must be true


If You Sum It All Up


"If You Sum It All Up"

I wake in the morning,I pop my pills.
I go to work,I pay the bills.

It all feels so empty.A pointless game.
Such is my life.A worthless shame.

The dreams all gone,the wishes all spent.
A lot of memories, that I mostly resent.

The hope has run out andthe magic’s all gone.
Like a page with no words or a soundless song.

If you sum it all up, do you know what you’ve got?
A body of empty flesh, that happens to cry a lot.


When You Do What You Do


"When You Do What You Do"

The anger swells
Exploding inside
I never understand
Why you lie

How do you do
What you have done
Have you ever been honest
With anyone

Even today
I hear of things you do
And wonder what
Has happened to you

You lie about
So many things
Are you unaware
Of the hurt that brings

Where are you going
What is it you want
Questions abound
As memories haunt

Is it your goal
To empty those closest to you
Or do you consider that
When you do what you do


Friday, November 6, 2009

The Task


“The Task”

On the front deck

The sun was late in the sky

As you stood and faced me

And looked in my eyes

I am not sure if I felt the shock

Or heard first the sound

But my stomach was turning

As I fell to the ground

You stood over me

With your smoking gun

Perhaps unaware

Of what you had done

My chest was afire

I could not draw breath

And you just walked away

While I lay bleeding to death

A long time has passed

Since that day on the deck

And in so many ways

I am still just a wreck

Will I ever let go

Of all this pain

Am I able to forgive

This saltwater rain

Until you have found

The courage to ask

We will never know

If I am up to the task


Thursday, November 5, 2009

For That


"For That"

For whatever it was that I thought,
or that I failed to think.

For whatever it was that I heard,
or that I failed to hear.

For whatever it was that I saw,
or that I failed to see.

For whatever it was that I said,
or that I failed to say.

For whatever it was that I did,
or that I failed to do.

I just never realized,
That I'd drifted so far from you.

I am so very sorry for that.

july 21st, 2005