Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Even Way Back Then

"Even Way Back Then"
~ ~ ~
I wonder if maybe
I understood to early
If the hurt made too much sense
To me
I'm no genius
There's no Einstein here
But knowing ever too early
That's something I fear
Should I wonder that
Should it make me afraid
And has that fear impacted
The decisions
I've made
If a person
Understands at thirty
I suppose that is normal
But that's not me
A freak who understood the bleak
Understanding at ten
Too soon
Even way back then

Monday, December 26, 2011


~ ~ ~
I stepped out
Upon the lawn
The wind blew cold
Against my face
Through the leaves
Almost reaching
Crying out in some attempt
For me again
To care about this place
To care about this place
This sharp edge of lonely
That hovers endless
Every night
The tempting calm
Of warm soft sun
Floating timeless
Gentle light
Gentle light
Such an illusion
It will scorch
Your back is turned
I'm no fool
I've learned my lesson
There's nothing left
To burn
Danny Gunter

Friday, December 23, 2011

Pen To Paper

“Pen To Paper”
Pen to paper,
I recall the year.
When I broke,
A year for tears.
I rested a tired head,
On another’s shoulders.
Only heaven knew of coming,
Falling boulders.
Crushing my soul.
Crushing me inside.
And they still smile on you,
Knowing your lies.
January 1st,
Nineteen ninety-eight.
Our 1st New Year,
Must have been fate.
Quoting your words.
I heard clearly,
Too late.
Pen to paper,
I recall the year.
When I broke,
A year for tears.
Danny Gunter

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

What's the Point


"What's the Point"
~ ~ ~
Can it drag out
Can it just take too long
Can such a deep lasting hurt
Lead our wants to be gone
Can we force ourselves to dream
Can we force ourselves to endure
If just the thought of tomorrow
Leaves our soul unsure
I mean what's the point to have
Then have it taken away
What's the point of knowing words
When you've no idea
What to say
What's the point of having light
When there's nothing left
You want to see
What's the point of having tomorrow
When there's nothing left
You want to be
Danny Gunter

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It Is Just A Place To Start


"It Is Just A Place To Start"
My story it may feel sad.
An ending unfitting considering all I had.
Ever a place to rest,
A shoulder on which to lean.
All might be unnoticed if I hadn’t seen.
A loving mom, a loving dad.
A few sisters of which I have.
There are many things you don’t choose.
Ever a reminder to be glad.
Sisters, nieces, nephews and cousins,
Every part gets a hand from fate.
You do not pick the joined of your heart.
Generations only make them grate.
I’ve always a place,
To rest my weary heart.
Appreciate your family.
Try to understand,
It is just a place to start.
Danny Gunter

I Can Only Hope

 "I Can Only Hope"
~ ~ ~
This time of year
Is so hard on me
Angry at myself
Not feeling free
Angry at myself
Since I feel so sad
Dwelling on the things
I believed I had
See the people laughing
They smile, I smile
Feeling so empty
Looking on presents
In piles
Gifts given of love
Given in heart
And all I feel
Is torn apart
I can only hope
As I hear them laugh
As I want to cry
I can only hope
That every part of love
Is not a lie
Danny Gunter

Sunday, December 18, 2011

With My Pen of Endless Ink

"With My Pen of Endless Ink"
~ ~ ~
I would like to say
That it will happen tonight
This will be the last
I write
Because I don't want it to matter
And I certainly don't want to cry
But nothing moves me past it
No matter what I try
I have cried tears
Until rainbows end
Believing in those
Who never were
My friends
I have promised tomorrow
I meant every word
But no one was listening
Never heard
I have pledged myself
I have pledged my all
And in that honor
A lonely fall
I would like to say
It will be tonight
This will be the last
I write
Still the sun will rise
I will write tomorrow
With my pen of endless ink
Filled with sorrow
Danny Gunter

Saturday, December 17, 2011

I Will Fly


"I Will Fly"
~ ~ ~
I know this shadow
Will always carry sadness
That led me into
This madness
This dark haunting maze
Where moments bleed into days
Where I feel so lost
In life's bitter haze
But I will rise
Spread my wings and fly
Even if I still
Sometimes cry
Someday I will forget
The look in your eyes
When you left
Left me to die
I will rise
Into this shadowed sky
I will rise
And I will fly
Past this dark
That you led me to
I will fly
And I will finally
Have forgotten you
Danny Gunter
(r 12-17-2011)

Friday, December 16, 2011

Just Say Please

“Just Say Please”
Inside my head.
Can’t get it out.
Screaming tears,
A deafening shout.
Wake in a silent dark.
Such a foreign place.
Prisoner no way out.
Can’t move no space.
An alien surface,
Jagged sharp brushing your skin.
Held by hands you cannot see.
Trapped here since when?
The air is stale teetering on a ledge,
You can’t see how it feeds.
So begging in tears,
You scratch, you plead.
Unseen hands caress your face.
Voices softly laugh offering clues.
No dues, no fees.

Whispering relentless,
“Just say please.”
Take all the time,
To take your ease.

Repeating, repeating,
“Just say please.”
Danny Gunter

Saturday, December 10, 2011

No Pain No Gain

“No Pain No Gain”
Dear God, was I starving?
Reached out my hand you made me full.
Desperate and lost,
Just a dreamy fool.
Not a gambler by nature,
Random was the chance,
I’d gamble at all.
An invitation only dance.

But it’s ok,
My heart was true.
My failure was,
My trust in you.

All’s good, yeah, it’s ok.
No pain no gain.
I’m good, I got this,
Won’t be doin that again.
Danny Gunter

There is a Place Here

"There is a Place Here"
~ ~
It feels eerily quiet
Inside of me
Like if you could open the lid
Empty space is all you would see
Like I could stand in an inferno
And it would not burn
And I cannot feel my heart
Though I know it still churns
Like an alarm that still sounds
With its owner long dead
A long forgotten grave yard
Drifts in my head
Countless are the headstones
But none bare names
No years, no dates
They all look the same
They are the graves of hopes
And dreams who died
And somewhere
There is a place here
Where I would sit
When I cried
Danny Gunter

Friday, December 9, 2011

You Know The One

“You Know The One”
The trinket or the picture,
You know the one.
The one you keep on the back of the shelf.
After all is said and done.
Nostalgia it’s quick,
Sneaky and it can catch us all.
But it only catches,
After a fall.
A simple fall,
Of one sort or another.
Way back on the shelf,
Where the light might smother.
The trinket or the picture.
You know the one.
Way back on the shelf.
After all is said and done.
Danny Gunter

Crimson Pools

“Crimson Pools”
The wounds are deep
Blood drips upon the page
Forming crimson pools
Of rage
Liquid resentment
These vengeful eyes
Blur the pools
I will not cry
Let the rage envelop
The darkness pull you in
Let the rage protect
Never again
The wounds are deep
Blood drips upon the page
Forming crimson pools
Of rage
Danny Gunter

Thursday, December 8, 2011


For me, either is fine, I realize and understand that deep down it is another person wishing me well during this season of celebration and giving.  I could let my little rant get mired down in the Bible, or the origin Yule.  But that is not my goal.
A season of giving should be a season of giving and I am personally partial to the phrase “Happy Ho-Ho!”
When pressed against the law, the separation of church and state.  Law is always going rule in favor of the state.    Well, it should, unless I’ve misunderstood the point. 
Zealots on either side of this make it an ugly situation and at the center of a person’s beliefs, the center of their home and family should not be altered by an alternate phrase that to me means the same thing.
If you say Merry Christmas, out of obligation, it’s misleading and possibly a lie.  If you say Happy Holidays out of your convictions, it is not misleading or a lie.  Both are enduring statements, bidding wellbeing to another, during this wonderful season that has gotten beaten down in the bickering of definition and religion.
So if your child happens to ask “Why don’t they say Merry Christmas?” Can you just say “Because they follow a different faith than we do.”? 
If you really think that Christmas is only about Santa and what they do or don’t say at the stores.  I’m kind of thinking that you got lost in the bickering somewhere.  It just seems to me that, especially on this topic, we keep forgetting what it means to share.  Sharing is not just for toys.  Sharing is also for time, seasons and our world.
Your family.  Your Home.  Your Church.
Our Store.   Our Street.  Our World.
Our Season of Giving. 
Happy Ho-Ho!!!!!

An Open Letter to Chick-Fil-A

This is the link to the actual blog:

JOHN PAUL - An Open Letter to Chick-Fil-A

Here is the letter:

An Open Letter to Chick-Fil-A

To Chick-Fil-A, Truett Cathy, and the WinShape Foundation:

It is with a heavy heart that I write to you saying that I can no longer, in good conscience, patronize your establishment. Nor can I partake of your delicious, succulent, juicy chicken.

I mean, I would like to. Oh trust me, I would! But the beef (ha!) I have with you isn’t about your chicken. Your chicken is actually quite good. Your ongoing support of anti-gay organizations and hate groups, however, is what has left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

I had deduced that your business was religious - meaning I noticed it was always closed on Sundays and I just sort of guessed. And that’s fine. I live in Oklahoma and I know plenty of Christian businesses who do the same thing. That much never bothered me.

I never really knew what Chick-Fil-A’s opinion of gays was, but I probably wouldn’t have cared. You are free to have whatever rampantly bigoted views you choose to hold, and I have the right to call them just that. If one of the Chick-Fil-A cows were a homophobe, I’d hope he’d have the common courtesy to at least keep that to himself and we would be fine.

But then you had to do it to me. You just had to push me away. You went and donated $2 million, money that customers like me helped you make, to anti-gay organizations like the Pennsylvania Family Institute. These are people who have said that striking down Prop 8 was a direct hit to human civilization. They’ve said same-sex marriage threatens children, hurts families, and punishes society by caving in to a radical sexual revolution.

I’ve checked your tab, and apparently that’s not the only anti-gay organization you support:
 •Marriage & Family Legacy Fund: $994,199
 •Focus On The Family: $12,500
 •Exodus International: $1,000

Oh, that Exodus International one is a low blow, Chick-Fil-A, because that group’s entire purpose is to eliminate and “cure” homosexuality like it’s a mental disorder.

And then you sent out a message saying you’re not anti-gay and that you respect LGBT people. But then, well, this:

That’s an odd definition of respect. And you’re absolutely sure you’re not anti-gay?

Come on, just admit you don’t like me. It’s pretty obvious. You’ve given money to organizations who are actively trying to make sure I don’t get to enjoy the same rights as heterosexual couples. You have helped fund hate groups who, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, are listed right alongside the KKK.

So I think you’ve made it pretty clear how you feel. Now here’s how I feel.

I refuse to spend my money at a business that supports hate, and I encourage others to do the same.

Maybe you think a small number of people boycotting won’t make much of a difference. And, you know, that may be true.

But when I think that even so much as a penny, a single freaking penny of my money went to Exodus International and helped fund their sick, perverse practices of “curing” gay people, it breaks my heart.

It makes me physically ill to think that a single cent of the money I paid to eat your chicken goes to a hate group who clearly disagrees with my very existence. And when I think, even for a second, that I have in any way helped a group who is trying to undermine my civil rights… well, it makes me want to puke.

And suddenly, I’m not so hungry anymore. No matter how tasty the chicken might be.

But hey, if you meant what you said about not being anti-gay, and if you’re half as Christian as you claim to be, then I’ve got a proposition for you.

Homelessness among LGBT youths is rampant, and charities and churches all over America are struggling to provide them with food, shelter, and a positive environment. Even if you think their sexual orientation is a choice, they are still human beings - and they are suffering.

Here’s one organization that could sure use some help:

And even if you don’t feel like giving a monetary donation… I bet those homeless teens could really go for some free chicken.

Just a thought.

I certainly hope that you have read all of this and heard me out. I also hope that, one day, I may again enjoy one of your chicken sandwiches with extra pickles and waffle fries. It was my favorite!
Until Chick-Fil-A stops supporting these hate groups, however, my morals will simply not allow it.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Please don’t think that I am in any way validating suicide

Please don’t think that I am in any way validating suicide.  I am simply attempting to explain it from my point of view as I have, in my own way, come to understand it.  If this offends anyone for any reason I apologize.  I am not educated in psychology this is how I have learned to understand it.

I suffer from both depression and an incapacitating phobia (that means when I am confronted with the object of my fear, I lose the capacity of rational thought and behave recklessly.)
When you hit that breaking point (where you are forced to fight or flee) it is a horrible, horrible feeling.
In the instance of my phobia, the setting for my reaction changes, it can hit me anywhere.  In the car, at a friend’s house, at the park, out for a walk or even out at dinner.  (My phobia is bees/wasps/hornets)  These are battles that I can win or avoid and therefore manage some control over my fear.
When you hit the darkest point within depression it's usually from many things you encounter daily.  The places and triggers are always similar or the same.  So you fight / flee from the very same trigger, in the very same places every single time.  It can hit you when you open a photo album (any photo album), when you pull into work, when you pull into your garage or driveway or when you unlock your front door. 

It is the same battle over and over and over and over again.  Every day, with everyday things, an everyday battle that you will never win, you can learn to endure it.  You can learn to lessen the impact of the battle on your life, but it never really will go away.  For me, Christmas is hard, for personal reasons, presents under any Christmas tree takes me back and it always makes me sad.  (I am way better with it now, but I will always have to remain mindful and keep my mind on track or it will make me sad every single time.)
From all that I have read, Don Harman had support of friends and family.  He had an understanding family and loved his work.  I can only think that he just became too tired, of that everyday battle, for reasons I will never understand.  When a person suffers from depression and takes their own life, they may just be tired of fighting every day.  It never means that your friends or family could have done more.  Sometimes we just have to rest, and some of us have to do extraordinary things to get the rest we need. 

This doesn’t make it ok or acceptable.  I just want to shine a little light to hopefully help some people understand.

Sunday, December 4, 2011


I think that,
My creativity may be,
A very dangerous place,
For me.
I can imagine worlds,
So many stories I could write.
But it leads a winding path,
To wrongs not right.
If left to wander,
Along on its own,
It always leads me back,
To the saddest place I’ve known.
So I try to remember the spurs.
And pull correctly on the yoke.
What I create doesn’t have to resound,
Or be my sadness wrote.
Danny Gunter

Saturday, December 3, 2011

In The Summer

"In The Summer"
These people keep coming
Knocking at the door
I keep telling them
He doesn't live here anymore
Sometimes they want to visit
Have something to say
I don't know how to tell them
He was taken away
Some say they have seen him
The body was never found
A ghost of what was
Who still wanders around
I have to tell them I'm sorry
But Danny isn't here anymore
He was gunned down in the summer
Of Two-thousand four
Danny Gunter

Friday, December 2, 2011

Woulda – Shoulda

“Woulda – Shoulda”
That old tune,
Began to play as I was driving along.
A few months ago,
I probably woulda skipped that song.
Just changed the channel,
Or pressed the arrow to skip.
But I sang it again,
My head and shoulders did not dip.
I sang it again.
And I did not cry.
I was able to sing and smile.
My cheeks remained dry.
But the first time I heard it,
During a misleading trip.
I’m not ashamed knowing now.
I shoulda pressed skip.
Danny Gunter

In memory of Don Harman

this wont be posted on twitter or facebook, it is just a note to myself of what I posted on Don Harmans Sympathy page.

Shared in memory of Don Harman.
Battling depression is hard to understand for those who do not battle
it. I have battled it most of my life, this poem is one that I wrote
and read often when the dark gets too dark.
If you fight depression you can find support in friends, family and
your doctor. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.
"I Roar Out Against The Dark"
My eyes flutter open
Something passes over me
This is so dark a place
How has this come to be
I know I have been chained
For far too long
The chains are so heavy
They are so strong
The weary starts to take me
The peaceful void of sleep
Something stirs within me
Something buried deep
The smallest voice
Speaks within
My eyes flash open
Wide again
The darkness knows
That it cannot hide
But still it swells
As I reach out my mind
The darkness tries
To wrap me tight
But past the dark
I sense the light
I take a hold
I beckon it in
The darkness knows
It cannot win
I raise my head
Against my fears
Lying in puddles
Of wasted tears
The chains now old
Are covered with rust
So tired, so heavy
But I know that I must
I stretch myself
I break the chains
I roar out against the dark
Danny Gunter

Yesterday, Tomorrow and Today


"Yesterday, Tomorrow and Today"

Oh my God,
I hoped and I loved.
I wished that my heart,
Could rise above.

Can a heart rise?
When it believes?
Past the times,
When there's no way to retrieve?

Love can be broken,
Love can be wrong.
Love can be hard,
Hearts can wonder where they belong.

There are no easy answers,
There is no easy way.
When you try to reconcile,
Yesterday, tomorrow and today.


Danny Gunter
06 07 08
Danny Gunter