Call (866-488-7386) if u feel alone or helpless.

U may be going to bed, thinking everyone hates u. The President of the USA supports u, with many other World Leaders. U’r not alone. I’m thinking of you. Call (866-488-7386) if u feel alone or helpless.


http://sparkaction.org/content/trevor-project-help-suicidal-gay-teens

Jay 'Corey' Jones, Gay Minnesota Teen, Commits Suicide After Allegedly Being Bullied

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/11/jay-corey-jones-gay-minnesota-teen-suicide_n_1510001.html?1336759158&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

HAPPY HOLIDAYS or MERRY CHRISTMAS?

HAPPY HOLIDAYS or MERRY CHRISTMAS?
 
For me, either is fine, I realize and understand that deep down it is another person wishing me well during this season of celebration and giving.  I could let my little rant get mired down in the Bible, or the origin Yule.  But that is not my goal.
  
A season of giving should be a season of giving and I am personally partial to the phrase “Happy Ho-Ho!”
 
When pressed against the law, the separation of church and state.  Law is always going rule in favor of the state.    Well, it should, unless I’ve misunderstood the point. 
   
Zealots on either side of this make it an ugly situation and at the center of a person’s beliefs, the center of their home and family should not be altered by an alternate phrase that to me means the same thing.
  
If you say Merry Christmas, out of obligation, it’s misleading and possibly a lie.  If you say Happy Holidays out of your convictions, it is not misleading or a lie.  Both are enduring statements, bidding wellbeing to another, during this wonderful season that has gotten beaten down in the bickering of definition and religion.
  
So if your child happens to ask “Why don’t they say Merry Christmas?” Can you just say “Because they follow a different faith than we do.”? 
  
If you really think that Christmas is only about Santa and what they do or don’t say at the stores.  I’m kind of thinking that you got lost in the bickering somewhere.  It just seems to me that, especially on this topic, we keep forgetting what it means to share.  Sharing is not just for toys.  Sharing is also for time, seasons and our world.
  
Your family.  Your Home.  Your Church.
  
Our Store.   Our Street.  Our World.
  
Our Season of Giving. 
 
Happy Ho-Ho!!!!!

Please don’t think that I am in any way validating suicide

Please don’t think that I am in any way validating suicide.  I am simply attempting to explain it from my point of view as I have, in my own way, come to understand it.  If this offends anyone for any reason I apologize.  I am not educated in psychology this is how I have learned to understand it.

I suffer from both depression and an incapacitating phobia (that means when I am confronted with the object of my fear, I lose the capacity of rational thought and behave recklessly.)

 

When you hit that breaking point (where you are forced to fight or flee) it is a horrible, horrible feeling.

 

In the instance of my phobia, the setting for my reaction changes, it can hit me anywhere.  In the car, at a friend’s house, at the park, out for a walk or even out at dinner.  (My phobia is bees/wasps/hornets)  These are battles that I can win or avoid and therefore manage some control over my fear.

 

When you hit the darkest point within depression it's usually from many things you encounter daily.  The places and triggers are always similar or the same.  So you fight / flee from the very same trigger, in the very same places every single time.  It can hit you when you open a photo album (any photo album), when you pull into work, when you pull into your garage or driveway or when you unlock your front door. 

It is the same battle over and over and over and over again.  Every day, with everyday things, an everyday battle that you will never win, you can learn to endure it.  You can learn to lessen the impact of the battle on your life, but it never really will go away.  For me, Christmas is hard, for personal reasons, presents under any Christmas tree takes me back and it always makes me sad.  (I am way better with it now, but I will always have to remain mindful and keep my mind on track or it will make me sad every single time.)

 

From all that I have read, Don Harman had support of friends and family.  He had an understanding family and loved his work.  I can only think that he just became too tired, of that everyday battle, for reasons I will never understand.  When a person suffers from depression and takes their own life, they may just be tired of fighting every day.  It never means that your friends or family could have done more.  Sometimes we just have to rest, and some of us have to do extraordinary things to get the rest we need. 

This doesn’t make it ok or acceptable.  I just want to shine a little light to hopefully help some people understand.

Prejudice

"Prejudice doesn't just go away, knowing when to behave correctly does not free anyone from prejudice. Prejudice must take many generations to fade, I still witness it because of many social & cultural mistakes that began centuries before I was born. Simple respect and equal possibilities are all I would like, prejudice will only fade in its own time."

Danny Gunter
Saturday, October 15th, 2011

Safe In My Arms

As a man who lives between worlds, it's been my blessing that through my sisters allowed me to witness from  distance what it must feel like when you have children, and those wonderful children have gone on to have their own children.  It is fortunate for me, to have a gift like that presented for me to participate, even as slight as that participation might be.

This one is for Marilyn, Ruth and Terry, for Dana and Jason, for Josh and Kate.  You may not find Plumbs music appealing, but she did this one after she had her baby.  I can only imagine that you all feel the same.

I'm as far from a perfect person as a galaxy is a measure of another.  But you all did it and I believe it must feel like this for you.

between pillar & post

    
Over the course of my life, I have pulled between pillar & post.


People used me as a conduit to exert a measure of control of their lives.
 
I’ve been spoiled, tossed and held high.

I’ve been pride and shame for people who care for and love me.


In younger years, I lived knowing I may have to pack my bags and go live in another place at any time, all dictated by other people’s needs, whims and desires.

They never asked me how it made me feel or what I wanted. They just assumed that my re-location was for the best regardless of how it made me feel.

I have lived in over 10 houses in the Greater Kansas City area and I have been schooled in no less than 9 different school districts.
 
I do believe that this unwanted diversity added to my character but left me with feeling helplessness living life as a victim in the current of a river.
 
I don’t have to live like that anymore and I know while misguided, none of it was done with any intent to hurt me or make me feel bad. I liken myself to an important piece on a board game while the adults played their game of Life.
 
I do not begrudge anyone, but I will not and I do not have to live like that anymore. The rest of this is MINE. I had to get to the age of 40 to say that.
 
I just want everyone to understand how it felt living and knowing that at any moment that each and every friend could be taken, that every anchor that I had could be pulled away from me at any time leaving me at the mercy of angry seas adrift in this Tsunami of life. Never knowing where I might be next week. My Mom & Dad were amazing people and my sisters were awesome (when they weren’t teasing me).
 
I am finally out of the reach of that controlling force and no person will ever put me back into that situation again. I will not have it and I am strong enough now to say, NO! THIS IS MY LIFE and I choose and I decide.
 
I am damn happy and I AM THE ONE who made it that way,

Your Family Disaster Plan

With the events that happened today in Japan I want to encourage you all to set down with your family/friends/partners the people who are central to your life and would be concerned about your wellbeing if you or a loved one found themselves reacting to a ‘disaster’ situation.

I talk to people about it and they roll their eyes and chuckle like it’s never going to happen.

Set some time aside, get everyone together for a dinner or a BBQ and hand these out to the people you care about and those who care about you.  The site also gives lists of emergency kits you keep in your home and your car.  

If you can’t afford a cell phone go buy a 20 dollar go phone and get 20 or 30 minutes of talk time, just in case you need it.  Because if the world is ever pulled out of your feet, wouldn’t you be better off knowing that you have discussed the possible aftermath with everyone.

Also, people talk trash on Twitter and Facebook, but people in Japan were actually able to locate loved ones using Twitter and Facebook because the phones were overloaded with calls, but they could still connect to the internet.  

If it were for me to decide we would all live peaceful lives and never need to even discuss these things, but there is a myriad of dangers that could go off at anytime, anywhere.

Here are some additional links:

http://www.ready.gov/america/makeaplan/

http://www.redcross.org/images/pdfs/code/family_disaster_plan.pdf

{from Feb 2009} If I Had Only Known...

this is from February of 2009

If I Had Only Known...

My Mom, Vernetta, 71, of K.C., Ks passed away February 18th, 2009 at her home.

A celebration of her life will be held from 10 AM to Noon, Saturday, February 21st, 2009. Please contact me for details if you would like to know the location.


Vernetta was born in K.C., Mo and had lived in this area all of her life. She was a wife, mother, and homemaker. She leaves many people to cherish the memory of the love she gave so freely including her husband Montie, a son, Danny, 3 daughters, Ruth Ann, Marilyn, Terry; a step son, Mike, a step daughter Linda, 11 grandchildren, Dana, Josh, Chrissy, Amy, Amber, Stephanie, Teresa, Rebecca, Mathew, Rachel, Andrew, and 5 great grandchildren (with four new ones on the way). She was a great example of how to treat people and animals.

Vernetta was the most amazing grandma and mom.

A Thank You to my family & Friends

I may be one of the the few gay men who came out of the closet when I was 27 and after a brief period of awkwardness they accepted me for who I was.
I am very fortunate for this and I think this song says it well.

Alanis Morissette - Thank You (Video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOgpT5rEKIU