I Hate It

 
“I Hate It”
If they were granted,
Have you wondered what your wishes would be?
I am just empty,
At the very core of me.

There are no more wants.
There are no desires.
There is no fearsome flame,
There are no fires.

I am here,
For no reason other than I have to be.
There is absolutely nothing inspiring,
Here for me.

I loathe this place,
Loathe this existence.
Knowing deep down,
There is no resistance.

I hate it.

d
05-09-09

On Our Last December

“On Our Last December”

 

Amongst the shadows.

Amongst the dust.

I try to forget,

But remember I must.

 

I try to forget,

But I always remember.

The words that were spoken,

On our last December.

 

No token of wrongs,

Or anything that didn’t belong.

No hint that the words didn’t match,

To our chosen song.

 

A sudden departure,

Above any words.

I still don’t believe,

The words that I heard.

 

I try to forget,

But I always remember.

The words that were spoken,

On our last December.

 

D

09-27-09

Can I Say We ?

"Can I Say We ?"

Beyond imagination
So much smoke
Beyond reason
It must be a joke

Are they really running
So much debris
I am only watching
What do I see

It must be a joke
This can't be real
Are those buildings falling
How should I feel

I cried
No way to understand
How a person can do this
By their hands

Are we deserving
Am I qualified to say we
Am I too a victim in this disaster
I see

Can I say we
What did I do
What did we do
I ask of you

How can you hate us so much
This disasters touch
What did we do
To hurt you so much

How can I grasp
Or understand
This horror given
From far away lands

Because I just don't
Understand

D
09/10/2006
In memory of 9-11

Lost and Confused

“Lost and Confused”

A silly heart speaking words,
It never really heard.
A soul feeling lost,
Lonely and confused.

Did I find the one?
And lose them forever?
A forget me not?
A forget me never?

I guess I’ll never know,
Until I cross that brilliant light..
The choices I’ve made,
Between wrong and right.

Just a silly heart,
That never really heard.
A soul feeling lonely,
Lost and confused.

d
09-30-09

You Look Familiar

“You Look Familiar”

Walk in to that once,
Such familiar place.
I swore to never return.
I might see your face.

Smile and embrace,
The friends who can’t see.
How painfully hard,
This is for me.

Then I notice the face,
Far across the room.
It has been so long,
The hurt makes it soon.

Keep smiling out,
While I’m dying in.
If it is ever to stop hurting,
I could not tell you when.

Talking and laughing,
Walk up to the bar.
Accidentally shoulder to shoulder,
But it just feels so far.

An attempted conversation,
I raise my hand to pause.
As to why it still hurts,
I can offer no cause.

“You look familiar,”
I offer honestly.
As the salt starts to hover,
Inside of me.

“You look familiar, like someone I knew before.”
“But I am certain that we, have never met before.”

Walk away from that place.
The endless flight of stairs,
Believing love from someone,
Who never even cared.

D
10-14-09

Did You Get What You Wished

"Did You Get What You Wished"

I wonder where your aim was.
What was your goal?
Did you want my tomorrows?
Because that's what you stole.

As I sit here crying,
Do you smile inside?
Are you happy to know,
It's because of your lies?

Have I cried for as long,
As you hoped that I would?
Does it make you as happy,
As you hoped that it would?

Was it fun finding out,
How much I would believe?
You must be so very proud,
To know I still grieve.

Does it make you feel powerful,
To see me like this?
Have you got what you wanted?
Did you get what you wished?

I hope you're fulfilled.
I hope you're satisfied.
As you look in your mirror,
And see all your lies.

Dg
11/2005

A Thank You to my family & Friends

I may be one of the the few gay men who came out of the closet when I was 27 and after a brief period of awkwardness they accepted me for who I was.
I am very fortunate for this and I think this song says it well.

Alanis Morissette - Thank You (Video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOgpT5rEKIU