Tense

  

 

“Tense”

 

Being an empath is not empathy.

Empathy sharing a painful experience.

Being an empath gives no course or cause for ingress,

An empath is having no auditory or visual stimulation,

Of someone else’s feeling lacking context.

Without ever having any egress.

  

I simply feel,

Without pause.

Only to react,

Without cause.

 

An Empath feels,

But has no rational of pause,

Nor a sense sound or of smell,

Compelled to find the cause.

  

Like a fire,

With no ignition,

No reason,

To ignite or interact.

 

I rarely find.

A cause let alone a reason.

At least from my perspective.

Relevance carries no season.

 

I can hope to help the troubled,

Come close enough to engender,

To offer comfort,

To hopefully offer trust.

 

I believe that to be my obligation.

I have always reached out to a heart, a spirit, even a soul.

Who has been in fear,

A deep fear of losing something near.

 

And for every time I have reached out.

There has been a person who was in need.

Nearly every time I was able to identify,

Often it was me that caused them to speak.

 

To let them unburden, or release.

Does that make me see?

For any god’s sake I think no.

These things are not for me to know.

 

If you can try to comprehend.

If you even, try to understand.

I have helped many with what I say,

Never really understanding my hand.

But I did it anyway.

 

I know I am an empath,

I know I am more at my core.

But I am tired and I do not want to be any of it.

Anymore.

 

No longer,

It makes no rational sense.

I do not want to be this in this,

Or in any past, future or present,

Tense.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

 

Disjointed

  

  

“This poem is fragmented, thoughts and emotions I cannot properly articulate right now. I do not like It, but I am posting it anyway.” - Dg

 

“Disjointed”

 

After I was born,

My first nieces and nephew were born when I was twelve.

In America at least that is a deep moment,

To reflect and just exhale.

 

I had already gone through the divorces,

Already witnessed my own.

My mom, My dad.

I feel for years and years I have not been told.

 

I may be simply confused,

But I am not stupid,

I am not amused.

Something happened and I am confused.

 

I grew up with those children,

More came after the first but my mistakes last.

They would never trust me with their children.

I do understand why and so fast.

 

I am a mess of a person,

Maybe broken,

In a game left silent,

Something left unspoken.

 

For many years,

I have been unworthy of trust.

But I do wonder if this is the best I can do.

Do the simple best I can.

Do what my feelings dictate.

Do what I must.

 

Growing up my constants were them.

I feel I’ve more in common,

With my nieces and nephews,

Than I do with them.

 

But I cannot really speak.

The words are all used and gone.

So lost to me are my most kindred.

Those I have relied on for so long.

 

In writing this I cast no judgment.

I understand the cause.

This is my failing.

For many years now my life has been on pause.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

09-27-2020

Before Midnight

 

“Before Midnight”

 

I have got to write something,

It must be tonight.

Not before the sun.

Before midnight.

 

Today is or should it be was?

Today is my Dad’s birthday.

It is a day that will come every year.

It will come every year regardless what I say.

 

Regardless what I write.

Am I avoiding or confronting the grief?

Of what I should feel today,

Before Midnight.

  

Tomorrow will come,

Tomorrow will be a new sun.

So, I will shed some tears,

For Everyone.

 

Missing you in so many ways.

So many reasons aloft for me to be sad.

But I have to say before midnight.

Happy Birthday Dad.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

09-23-2020

 

A Ghostly Shadow

  

“A Ghostly Shadow”

 

Am I a cause,

That is lost?

Does it matter?

Where lies this sort of cost?

 

Walk away, walk away.

In truth at my end.

None of this will matter,

In anyway.

 

I am the ghost now.

I inhabit this naked place.

Though few can see or recognize,

My face.

 

I suppose,

I am the ghost now.

Beyond the reason,

Beyond the how.

 

A ghostly shadow,

Is all that is left among.

The trash like me,

That no longer belongs.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

09-22-20

 

Diminish

  

“Diminish”

  

I write and post my poems,

From a place of emotion.

Regardless of fact or practicality.

This does not diminish,

Any of my family’s devotion.

 

It is how I process,

Trying to put the feelings,

Too many feelings,

Into words.

 

Words are simple,

They are black and white.

In a poem I believe,

I hope to relate to a place or person.

Between the dark and the light.

 

So, when I write,

Of abandonment and fear,

Perhaps it is my unloading,

An attempt to avoid tears.

 

I am not perfect,

Now I feel broken and shattered.

Beyond anyone’s vision, beyond any laws.

Many things old are tattered and frayed.

Much like what I call,

Or what we all call today.

 

When I sit here,

Only in this poem.

They are the facts.

Emotion does not involve legality,

Or practicality.

It simply does not track.

 

Going forward, in my future posts.

Do not blame any of my family.

We are all doing what we must do.

So we all remain intact.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

09-22-20

 

My Light

   

  

“My Light” 

 

They never stop,

To consider me.

I live here,

But they cannot see.

 

They appear at random,

Never ask me if it is okay,

To break my light,

In their light of day.

 

They show up to pack,

It all away, throw it all away.

Never pausing to wonder,

If I am okay.

 

I am an inconvenience,

Looked over and forgotten.

I do not matter.

For the last decade, where have I been.

 

But it is okay,

It is your schedule, not where I gave.

Nothing whatsoever,

Not where I lived.

  

At some point when all is said,

And all is done.

We shall all be blinded.

Since nobody won.

 

Dg

09-21-20

 

Lucid

   

  

“Lucid”

 

For the last ten years,

I have done my best to hold my ground.

And you were comfortable.

Knowing I would be around.

 

I gave up a lot,

Maybe I can regain.

Somewhere beyond,

Somewhere past the pain.

 

Pain is such a broad word,

So many times, it cannot carry forward.

The sacrifice,

The words untold.

 

I was here if you believe it or not,

I was here, despite the fear.

Of where I would fit,

Let alone belong, without a care.

 

But I did it and made mistakes,

Do not stop for a moment feeling,

That I was incomplete.

Still I was totally lucid.

I took care of my father.

No mater what you thought of me.

You have always thought the worst of me,

Well now it is all precisely open,

For the world to see.

 

Does it hurt you?

Do you dare?

Am I such a lost cause?

What could possibly make you care?

 

My life is absent,

My life is lucid.

It still flows,

Despite you it is fluid.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

09-20-20

The Evermore

  

  

  “The Evermore”

 

I did not speak,

At his remembrance,

There were no words that fell,

Or spoken from my lips.

 

I was attempting to be kind,

I was attempting to keep us whole.

I could of course tried to call out to people.

But I knew what he wanted in his soul.

 

You can accuse me of being biased,

Accuse me of being hate filled and hurt,

But I was there when his family fought,

Past and beyond his mother, on grandma’s dirt.

 

But he knew,

In fact, he often asked.

Why they did not visit or did not call.

I lied because I knew my task.

 

I cannot deviate to anyone.

Never to or for anyone evermore.

You must live with it.

For the evermore.

 

And you can stand to your standard,

Of the evermore.

But you do know,

The result of your evermore.

 

He would not approve,

He would not be forgiving,

Not after his own siblings and the life he lived.

So, in my conclusion it is you,

Who needs to find your soul to forgive,

In the evermore.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

9-17-20

 

I Cannot Sleep

  

 

“I Cannot Sleep”

 

It’s 3:05 AM.

I cannot sleep.

What do I trash?

What do I keep?

 

The boxes are ordered,

The movers are set.

Still I stare into the rooms,

With layers of regret.

 

I must have fallen.

I must have failed.

I should have been,

Far more prepared.

 

So what should I trash?

So what should I keep?

It is so late and,

I cannot sleep.

  

Dg

Danny Gunter

09-16-2020

The Words Will Come

   

   

“The Words Will Come”

 

Like water pouring.

Over a very tall,

A very large,

Waterfall.

 

Once it starts,

Once it does begin.

I fear it will not stop.

It will not recede.

 

The seal has broken,

The damage is done.

The words will pour.

The words will come.

 

Dg

Danny Gunter

9-14-2020