“Change”
God after
all of this,
I must
seem like an ass.
As if you
can look through me,
Like a
pane of glass.
Change I
assume,
Is the
operative word.
Untethered,
With
sails unfurled.
Change
very much,
Has occurred.
Much like
many of us,
Have endured.
Change is
what it falls to,
Change is
what it boils down to.
It all
really boils down to.
What you
are going to do.
Change.
Dg
Danny
Gunter
11-30-2020
“The
Embers”
The
embers are fading,
I live in
the dark.
As far as
I have tried.
I cannot
find the spark.
Ashes and
ashes,
Are always
the same.
Drawing
circles in ashes,
Is that
all that remains?
Shoved
and pushed,
Forced down
to the ground.
Cry out,
cry out.
No one to
hear the sound.
The
embers have faded,
I live in
the dark.
I have
tried and tried,
But there
is no spark.
Dg
Danny
Gunter
11-13-20
“Life”
Should I
crawl out?
Am I worthy?
Was I too
weak?
I find it
hard to see.
Am I
deserving?
To be
reinvited,
Back to
life?
Am I disinvited?
From
life.
I am far
to broken.
The words
just fall out,
Some must
think I am joking.
Should I
even try to,
Crawl out
of this ditch.
Bottom line,
Crawl,
walk or run,
Life is a
bitch.
Dg
Danny
Gunter
11-7-20
“The Rooms Are Empty”
The movers came today,
All of my rooms are empty,
I suppose a lot,
Like me.
I feel like a bitchy winer,
Like me the rooms are empty anyway.
A lot like me.
I have no voice left.
To speak with anyway,
The rooms are empty.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-24-20
“Sleep”
The thunder rolls,
The rain is torrent.
Who am I to struggle,
Against the current.
I just want,
To sleep.
Will I ever do that again?
A sleep so deep.
I am so tired.
I long for a retreat.
But honestly,
I just want to sleep.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-23-20
“After 2 AM”
So, it is after 2 AM,
Even after my sleeping pills.
I probably take enough,
To make a baby elephant be still.
They are going to come tomorrow,
To pack my things,
Then on Saturday,
They will move me again.
I know that this,
It is for the best.
Yet I feel that I am failing,
This test.
So, it is after 2 AM,
Even after my sleeping pills.
I probably take enough,
To make a baby elephant be still.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-23-20
“Evicted”
I happened today.
Gutting my
niece and nephews’ part.
All of it,
It breaks my heart.
So tomorrow,
I intend to call
my packers,
My movers.
Pac up this
where I have never bent to live anyway.
So, I will be
very gone.
Many of you may
stop and ponder,
I have been in
a place,
Like this before.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-21-20
#poem #poetry
#writing
What would
someone wish for. I would think, for a peaceful moment, that for a moment. For
a minute pushes aside our venomous attitude’s. We, for the most part, have
offered our observations, being so opinionated may have obscured our
invitations. Are we all as blind as blind as we see another’s? A cousin, a niece, a nephew, or a sister or a brother
even a father and a mom. For me I feel lost and hopeless. In this hopelessness,
I should find strength in my family, yet all I find, is the hopelessness. Even
so much as I knew the young ones hated it, some actually despised it. But at
least in those moments we, even if falsely, in the moment, were united. – Danny
Gunter 10-19-20 (It might not be good, but it is true, and those who know, know
that it’s true.)
"The Entrance"
My heart
was,
The
entrance.
Is it too
wrong hoping?
It was my
way out.
Am I
wrong?
Too many
years I believed,
My heart
was beyond.
Finding a
soulmate, a friend.
Color me
shocked,
When it
all was a lie.
And it
was,
Tricked,
a lie and I cried.
Those involved
know,
Right now,
in this moment I am touched,
Those
involved wish not,
Be named.
But you
and I know your names,
Despite whom
I could,
You can believe
in your hearts,
I do know
your names.
Had it
been a knife.
I would have
blead to death.
But you
covered and lied when all you had to do,
Was so
simple,
Just tell
me the truth.
I hope you
got more out of the lies.
Then I
did despite.
Believing
in you.
Seeing
what was true.
I do know
your names,
How
invaluable I am to you.
But I
will grow distant and apart.
From what
is left of you.
Go and F yourselves.
Dg
Danny
Gunter
10-19-20
“Trash Bags”
In the stark cold,
Where no one is truly near,
Perhaps nobody,
Will hear.
I few hours to toss away,
These things that make me feel so sad.
I do not know what to say anyway.
To simply toss away what was my dad.
It feels so harsh,
It feels so reflectionless,
Yet here I am putting into trash,
Is he meant a memory,
With no reflection?
This, for me,
Has no background.
So, I am left with
trash bags,
And no place to stand.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-19-20
#poem #poetry #writing
“Narcissist”
Definition: noun
1. a person
who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
I feel
selfish,
Like a
narcissist right now.
All my
writings are so self-involved,
I feel
blinded and I do not know how.
Because they
are,
My personal
feelings are only the view from me.
My feelings
are just all,
I can see.
Millions of
people,
Have suffered
so much more.
In ways I
can only attempt to empathize,
Still I do not
know what is in store.
For our
country,
For all the
people of the entire world.
If I could
fix it,
Only if I could.
But I cannot,
I am
terrified, like everyone with a rational self.
Our world
has changed.
I do realize
this myself.
I cannot
speak for everyone,
In the
world.
But I honestly
would.
If only I could.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-18-20
#poem
#poetry #writing
I wonder
if I lied,
Because I
am terrified.
Of this
election, of this virus.
Of
moving, I feel petrified.
I wonder
what will happen,
When I
get out from under all of this.
What will
it do to me mentally?
Emotionally?
Pandemic
was a generic term.
We all
learned in school.
Abstract,
distant, not us.
While we
all have no leader, we can trust.
If you
trust him,
I believe
you are willfully ignorant.
I cannot
tell you what to believe or think.
I am
simply not that important.
We should
not even gather,
To
celebrate our most joyful holidays.
I know
people will ignore the dangers,
So, it is
going to happen anyway.
Will we
have another civil war?
Will we
plunge into a deeper darkness?
I have
nothing I feel I need to prove,
I am
selfish consumed by having to move.
I wonder
what will happen,
When I
get out from under all of this.
What will
it do to me mentally?
Emotionally?
Dg
Danny
Gunter
10-16-20
“The Basement”
I went down,
To get my trash bags,
It hits me like a boulder,
Everything lags.
The basement,
Is so empty,
Very much,
Like me.
It is so hard to embrace.
Yet I hide it.
Any time,
Upon my face.
Right now, I,
I am not at my best.
I am now an orphan,
Have I passed the test?
Have I fallen too far?
Did I even try?
It all happened so fast.
In the deep of me,
I know nothing ever lasts.
The basement,
Is so empty,
Very much,
Like me.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-16-20
“I Want To Cry”
I must move,
I know that I do not approve.
I know that I must,
I must move.
Many have offered their help
I do not want it.
I want to cry but I cannot,
Get it out.
I feel so lost,
I have done so much.
I simply do not know,
What it is all about.
I just want to throw,
It all away.
After all it does not matter.
Anyway.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-15-20
“Clay”
It feels like I am buried in clay.
It feels cold and alone.
As the clay hardens,
It feels like stone.
I struggle to move,
To do all of the things I need to do.
I have to do so much,
Abandon, again my home.
I feel so tired.
I feel so lost.
Sometimes you do all the right things.
Without considering the cost.
I am buried in clay.
It feels cold and alone.
As the clay hardens,
It feels like stone.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-14-2020
“Only Me To Blame”
The shoe has fallen.
The guillotine has dropped.
Ten years now,
I am always the one to be stopped.
What should I do?
What should I say?
Simply take a blink,
At where I am today.
I am now ten years over,
Ten years mourned.
Ten years forgotten,
For me ten years scorned.
In my work experience,
I have fallen ten years behind.
After all of this,
I am probably considered blind.
Far behind the flow,
Far behind the current.
I surrendered in the cement,
With no movement.
I’ve only myself,
Only me to blame.
And as I as always before,
Alone I will carry all the shame.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-09-20
“Remembering”
Ashes.
Where I was born.
I was already in the ashes of embers.
Remembering the fires.
Feeling all the crashes.
They all fought and struggled,
My parents and all of them.
I suppose they all think I do not remember,
Way back then.
I do not remember the facts,
But I do remember the feelings.
It is not a side show,
Of remembering’s.
I was a witness,
To all the burnings.
While everyone was experiencing,
While everyone was hurting.
I promised myself I would not.
Not ever experience anything like that.
But once and just once I did.
And it hurt me just like that.
I knew so much better,
But I let it in anyway.
What else have I,
To say?
Ashes,
It all ended in ashes and embers.
I promised myself that I would not.
But I hid.
And my empathy remembers.
What I did.
Since I was born in ashes.
Dg
Danny Gunter
10-06-20
“Tense”
Being an
empath is not empathy.
Empathy sharing
a painful experience.
Being an
empath gives no course or cause for ingress,
An empath
is having no auditory or visual stimulation,
Of someone
else’s feeling lacking context.
Without ever
having any egress.
I simply
feel,
Without pause.
Only to
react,
Without cause.
An Empath
feels,
But has
no rational of pause,
Nor a sense
sound or of smell,
Compelled
to find the cause.
Like a
fire,
With no
ignition,
No reason,
To ignite
or interact.
I rarely find.
A cause
let alone a reason.
At least
from my perspective.
Relevance
carries no season.
I can
hope to help the troubled,
Come close
enough to engender,
To offer
comfort,
To hopefully
offer trust.
I believe
that to be my obligation.
I have
always reached out to a heart, a spirit, even a soul.
Who has
been in fear,
A deep fear
of losing something near.
And for
every time I have reached out.
There has
been a person who was in need.
Nearly
every time I was able to identify,
Often it
was me that caused them to speak.
To let
them unburden, or release.
Does that
make me see?
For any
god’s sake I think no.
These
things are not for me to know.
If you
can try to comprehend.
If you even,
try to understand.
I have helped
many with what I say,
Never
really understanding my hand.
But I did
it anyway.
I know I
am an empath,
I know I
am more at my core.
But I am
tired and I do not want to be any of it.
Anymore.
No
longer,
It makes
no rational sense.
I do not
want to be this in this,
Or in any
past, future or present,
Tense.
Dg
Danny
Gunter
“This
poem is fragmented, thoughts and emotions I cannot properly articulate right
now. I do not like It, but I am posting it anyway.” - Dg
“Disjointed”
After I
was born,
My first
nieces and nephew were born when I was twelve.
In America
at least that is a deep moment,
To reflect
and just exhale.
I had
already gone through the divorces,
Already witnessed
my own.
My mom,
My dad.
I feel for
years and years I have not been told.
I may be
simply confused,
But I am
not stupid,
I am not
amused.
Something
happened and I am confused.
I grew up
with those children,
More came
after the first but my mistakes last.
They
would never trust me with their children.
I do
understand why and so fast.
I am a
mess of a person,
Maybe broken,
In a game
left silent,
Something
left unspoken.
For many
years,
I have
been unworthy of trust.
But I do
wonder if this is the best I can do.
Do the
simple best I can.
Do what
my feelings dictate.
Do what I
must.
Growing
up my constants were them.
I feel I’ve
more in common,
With my
nieces and nephews,
Than I do
with them.
But I cannot
really speak.
The words
are all used and gone.
So lost
to me are my most kindred.
Those I
have relied on for so long.
In
writing this I cast no judgment.
I
understand the cause.
This is
my failing.
For many
years now my life has been on pause.
Dg
Danny
Gunter
09-27-2020
