Carly Simon - You're So Vain

...you gave away the things you loved and one of them was me. I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee and...

I Long To Be Free

"I Long To Be Free"

I only write the words.
While I'm crying.
I can only write the words.
When my heart is dying.

I pick up the pen.
At the mercy of my heart.
Words become a tale.
A soul torn apart.

The pen only calls.
When tears are drowning me.
A slave to the words.
I long to be free.

My heart won't stop hurting.
My tears wont stop falling.
The sadness is me,
This is my calling.

I only write the words.
While I'm crying.
I can only write the words.
When my heart is dying.

D
08/17/2006

Bubba

"Bubba"

My friend of nine or ten,
My protector of four years.
And now I've a choice to make,
Through heartfelt tears.

You see he's held on,
Long past his time.
Now his fate rests in tiny hands,
That are mine.

Does he hurt too much?
Is it his time to die?
The question rests against me,
While I set and cry.

Is it his time to fade?
Is it his time to go?
I know what I have to do,
My God I just don't know.

d
04 30 08

It Is Frightening ~ 05-02-2008

"It Is Frightening"

I'm going to tell you,
What I'm about to do.
I hate it,
But it's true.

I'm going to let him,
Sleep with me tonight.
Because I know it makes,
Him feel all right.

In the early morning I will lace his treat,
With something to calm him down.
Because I know he will take it,
I am his ground.

He will relax,
And we will load him into the car.
He will be drugged,
And won't care how far.

Then they will give him a shot.
And I will hold him till he's gone.
It is frightening,
To be this strong.

d
05 02 08

I wrote that last night and now it's done.

Someone came this morning and helped me get him into the car and he drove us up to the vet.

Then they came out to the car and I held his head while they gave him the shot. Then I had to walk away while my driver helped the Vet take Bubba away.

I don't know how I would have done this without the help of my driver and I'd like to think it wasn't an easy thing for you either, so thank you.

Sometime Passed Today

"Sometime Passed Today"

Can a heart survive
Forever alone

The answer to the question
To me is unknown

Ask me later
Sometime passed today

Ask me later
And see what I say

Perhaps I will not know
Till the day I die

Perhaps I can't see
Through the tears I cry

Perhaps I have
A love that is wrong

My mind knows the words
But my heart sings the song

Dg - 01/2006

Someone That I Used To Love

I Remember Myself

  
I Remember Myself

I remember myself, from days now past.
Looking back I see it goes so fast.

I looked at things, so differently then.
A more beautiful world, where love could win.

Such is not the case. As I have come to see.
Hearts are not as strong, as we would have them be.

It makes you want to cry, when you know it isn't true.
One heart has not the strength. It takes the strength of two.

A weight for two, one heart cannot lift.
So it will be wasted, such a precious gift.

I remember myself. With dreams undone.
So many dreams. Then there were none.

D
01/2006 r
2/94

Safe Inside The Promise

"Safe Inside The Promise"

You might not think it,
Were you to see me now.
But once my heart did smile.
Though, I've not witnessed it for awhile.

I danced upon love,
I only believed to be real.
Cast aside my fears,
Just so I could feel.

Safe inside the promise,
That turned out only to be words.
I still battle between what occurred,
And what I heard.

Far too easy to speak lies,
And fill up a heart.
And it appears it is only the listener,
Who is torn apart.

Now I can't find the way,
I'm not sure where to begin.
All in all it doesn't matter.
I won't be hurt like this again.

d
02 15 08

Fragile Bliss

"Fragile Bliss"

The hollow
Courses through me

Beyond belief
The shadows give
No relief

Touch my skin
To feel alive

To remind myself
I did survive

How can it
Come to this

Only those shadows
Of fragile bliss

Survival
Unwanted
Unneeded
Ignoring advise
Unheeded

The tears
So harsh
Drip like knives
Dampen my skin
I did survive

Sink to shadow
Fade to night
Hoping
Waiting
End of light

D
11/07/2006

Then Stopped on a Dime

"Then Stopped on a Dime"
~ ~
A momentary flash.
No image, just feeling.
So staggering,
Left me reeling.
~
Search for the reason.
Reflect as I pause.
A needless relapse.
For what?
Just because.
~
It makes no sense.
There was no trigger.
Maybe there are just some things,
That are so much bigger.
~
Bigger than us.
Bigger than our hearts.
And we just drift through the wreckage,
As our lives fall apart.
~
We think it is clearing.
Then stopped on a dime.
When we pause and remember,
That moment in time.
~~~
D
12/27/2006

Hurt Camouflaged As Bliss

  
"Hurt Camouflaged As Bliss"

I think I'm moving passed it,
Although it's something I loath to do.
I can't imagine inviting another into my life,
And have them treat me like you.

You,
Such a short word to carry so much weight.
Only a heartless person would deliver,
Such a fate.

Fate,
As if I were destined for this.
A life of heartache,
Delivered through hurt camouflaged as bliss.

Bliss,
Like we can find it in these so called lives.
Where happiness and joy,
Are such double edged knives.

d
02 26 08

Zombie Wedding Feb 29th 2008

If you didn't know already, my friends Chris and Amber Tied the Noose on Friday night. It was a Zombie themed wedding and the above pic is a self pic of what I looked like. There will be a lot more pics to come. Here is a link to the video the news crew did, it was a blast I will blog about it when I have the pics to go with what I'm saying.

http://videos.kansascity.com/vmix_hosted_apps/p/media?id=1746050&genre_id=839

Well

  
"Well"

I harbor no illusions,
Of a happy ever after.
Nor do I any longer,
Dream of days filled with laughter.

I have been shown,
The stark reality.
That in the end you are left,
With only what you see.

Maybe you have fallen victim,
To the stories they tell.
About how hopes come true,
With pennies and a well.

Well you hang on to your wishes.
Go ahead,
Hang on to all of those things.
And I won't talk about the hurt and sorrow,
That all of that brings.

d
03 07 08

Window to Window

   
"Window to Window"

Can you hear me?
I’m pounding at the door.
Can someone hear me?
I don’t know the way out any more.

I run to the windows,
But the glass has turned black.
Window to window,
I can’t find my way back.

Windows black, doors all locked,
It’s so dark inside.
I don’t think anyone will find me,
In the prison that I hide.

d
03 25 08

Then Angel Again

  
"Then Angel Again"

A spiral of events,
No certain way to say,
Only that you would not have things,
The way they are today.

You can not describe what you saw,
Everything just a blur.
I mean when life has become a poison,
And there is no cure.

Angry beyond,
The reckoning of rage.
Even knowing the anger,
Is really your cage.

But it can happen,
When you question all that was.
Because a heart needs answers,
Oh, yes it does.

And the answers can come from,
The most unexpected of places.
Answers from the most familiar,
Of faces.

From Angel to Demon,
Then Angel again,
And you never thought it possible,
When you think back to then.

D
04/23/08

of course you never really know,
just how tricky a Demon can be.
low and behold,
again he tricked me.

Danny Gunter 02-27-2011

As Time Was Building Tears

"As Time Was Building Tears"

We all make mistakes,
All of us do.
Why end us like that?
I ask of you.

I can remember the day I met you,
With crystal clarity.
I guess you never really understood,
How much it frightened me.

To fall so hard,
So fast.
I only let you in because,
I really believed it would last.

I believed us to be happy,
Down through our years.
All the while my eyes were merely dams,
As time was building tears.

Miles of salt water rivers,
I never in my heart knew I'd cry.
I never knew my hopes were in a noose,
Just waiting to die.

We all make mistakes,
All of us do.
Why end us like that?
I ask of you.

d
03 04 08

While I Was In There

"While I Was In There"

I'm setting here staring,
At a card board box.
Inside are a whole lot of things,
I forgot.

It frightens me even though,
All I need do is open the lid.
A lot I'd forgotten,
Even more that I hid.

From myself,
It was killing me to hang on.
To something, to someone.
When all of it was gone.

I work up the courage.
I peer inside.
Flip through the photos and smile.
As tears fill my eyes.

Pause and stare,
At more than just a few.
Goodness I smiled a lot,
When I was with you.

Finished I close the lid,
For a long while I simply set and stare.
I'd forgotten how happy I was,
While I was in there.

d
05 01 08

My Apology

"My Apology"

I need your attention,
And yes I'm writing to you.
Because I've some stuff to say,
Because it's true.

I was in a lot of pain,
Over the last few years.
And I've cried,
A lot of tears.

Within the course,
Of my pain.
I wrote some terrible and hurtful words,
While I was insane.

I was bitter, I was sharp,
My words were not reserved.
And within the true of truth,
Not all of those words were deserved.

It got so horribly dark,
Inside of me.
I'm so sorry.
I hope you can accept,
My apology.

d
05 03 08

I wrote this for someone.
I wrote it and it was a mistake.
Maybe you know someone who is worthy of an Apology.
As I offered this one and it was completely undeserved.
This was a complete waste of my time so hopefully you can take something from it.
Danny Gunter - - 02-27-2011

I Whittle

"I Whittle"
 

Over 600 poems,
And I find I've not the words.
That I can rightly say,
What needs be heard.

Not be too forward,
Not be too absent.
Not say something,
You'll resent.

Say to much,
Say to little.
A piece of reality,
I whittle.

I want to say the right things,
I don't want to say them wrong.
Because I know that if I do,
You'll be gone.

d
05 12 08

This Road

"This Road"

I'm on this road,
Not sure what to do.
I need directions,
Can I ask you?

Is it right or left?
Forward or back?
I feel like a train,
With no track.

Is it my turn to go?
Should I wait?
What will I miss,
If I hesitate?

I want to ease forward,
Just merge.
I want to,
I'm not sure.

I'm on this road,
Not sure what to do.
I need directions,
Can I ask you?

d
05 14 08

A Skydiving Day: I've had a good life ~ 05-17-2008 ~

 .
Original Post: May 17th, 2008
 .
A Skydiving Day: I've had a good life.

So the day started early, we arrived at the little airport before 11 am.

Tammy, Lisa and I were doing the tandem jump. Crystal, Sean, Brad, Sara, Anne Marie, Lisa's Cousin (can't remember her name) and John were there for support and to watch our silly asses jump.

IT TOOK ALL FREAKING DAY! I don't think Tammy jumped till around 2 and she did really good! Lisa went next and then me. We had a lot of "fun jumpers" in between us.

When I was up, they harnessed me up and it was a quick lesson then we got on the plane (a very little plane).

Once we got close to altitude, he hooked me up to him in the plane (a very little plane) and we scooted on our butts to the door. The wind was so strong.

He put his left leg out, then my legs were out, then his leg.

Then we rocked back and forth 3 times and woosh! I was in free fall from 11,000 feet!!!

You're just falling and it's all so fast and amazing and crazy!

Then he pulled the chute to open. OH MY GAWD it feels like you are rushing up into the sky! I LOVED THAT PART!

But when he opened the canopy it didn't work quite right. I could tell that something wasn't quite right because he was jerking and tugging on stuff.

I was like "Is something wrong?" (we were shouting)

He replied "Just hang on. I will fell a lot better when I get this under control…" (or something close to that).

I said "Well, you can explain it when we are on the ground…"

"Ok, hang on…"

He was jerking and stuff, then we finally kind of twisted around and everything was calmer and I could tell everything was ok and finally he said "There, now just enjoy your ride."

We floated around and when we landed I even got to land on my feet!!!

I can not explain properly how amazing it all was. I am still freaking beside myself.

I will admit that when I knew that we had a problem (the chute had gotten tangled), and I was forced to face the realization that 'WOW this might not go well' I kind of surprised myself.

I thought quickly, ok, what am I going to do?

Then I of course realized that there was nothing I could do.

So I looked down at the ground, and I thought 'I really might die…'

Then I thought … 'I've had a good life, this fucking sucks, but I've had a good life'

(I'm very happy with that.)

After that I relaxed and let my diver guy take care of stuff it was all good.

I know that it was an awesome experience for Tammy and Lisa too! I will not attempt to recount their experience.

Even with my mishap, I would so do it again and if you have ever thought you might like to do it, I think you should. It was beyond words amazing!

YAY!!!

Four-Wheeling FAIL

Melissa Manchester Ice Castles theme

someone that i used to love..natalie cole

I CAN'T SAY GOODBYE TO YOU - HELEN REDDY

Don't Cry Out Loud-Melissa Manchester

Mariah Carey - Do You Know Where You're Going To?

I Cannot See

"I Cannot See"

What exactly did you want
Are tears what you wanted to see
While we walked together
You deceiving me

I have cried an ocean
Spilled my soul over you
You never even noticed
The love was true

When you said forever
What did you desire
Were you just deceiving me
Leaving me to scorch in fire

Did it mean anything
Anything at all
Or are you laughing
Watching as I fall

Falling further and further
No end in sight
Once a love so close
Now just lonely night

What was the point
What was the gain
In causing another soul
Such endless pain

I do not understand
I cannot see
What it was you gained
In doing this to me

Dg
04/08/2006

Invalidated

"Invalidated"

It took only a moment,
And you never hesitated.
Before you utterly and totally,
Invalidated.

Not only my love.
But all of me,
All of me,
Entirely.

In that moment,
Something shattered inside.
So horribly broken,
I sat and I cried.

Then came the anger.
My soul seethed with rage.
Like an angry hungry animal,
Hurtling itself at its cage.

The rage fell,
Into depression.
My entire life,
Fell into recession.

Calmer now,
So much time has past.
I won’t lie and say,
It went by fast.

I was so determined,
To validate myself.
My heart and your role.
So much unanswered,
And those quandaries take their toll.

I was so desperate.
I wanted to know.
I wanted to see.
So hell bent was my quest for answers.
That I had this time myself,
Invalidated me.

d
04 04 2008

For That

For That

For whatever it was that I thought,
or that I failed to think.

For whatever it was that I heard,
or that I failed to hear.

For whatever it was that I saw,
or that I failed to see.

For whatever it was that I said,
or that I failed to say.

For whatever it was that I did,
or that I failed to do.

I just never realized,
That I drifted so far from you.

I am so very sorry for that.

dg
july 21st, 2005

As It Often Seems

"As It Often Seems"

Have you ever wished
Upon that special light in the sky
And awaited a voice in the heavens
To help you understand why

Have you chased a rainbow
That seemed just over the hill
Searched and searched
And kept searching by sheer force of will

Have you ever cast
A coin into a magic well
And listened so intently
Just how far it fell

Have you envisioned a wish
As you blew out the flames
Hoping this new year
Will not be the same

We are among the many who
Wish, hope and dream
Not nearly so lonely
As it often seems

They may never come
The answers from the stars
And rainbows are hard to find
They are always so far
Those coins dropped
Are so often
Forgotten with time
But the candles will be there next year
As we continue the climb

D
11/26/06

Just Me

"Just Me"

Sometime down this road
I will think back
I will set and wonder
Where my life got off track

Perhaps in a huge beautiful home
That no one will ever see
With long and lonely halls
Because there will be
Just me

I will set near a window
Staring out at the night
Set there wondering at fifty
Why nothing seems right

I will climb into
A huge empty bed
Wondering why thoughts of you
Are still in my head

I will begin to cry
Safe where no one can see
No one will reach to hold me
Because there will be
Just me

D
02/18/2006

Somewhere Forest

"Somewhere Forest"

A rapture of emotion
A thief in my night
A scar upon my soul
Never ending blight

A tale of two cities
Close but apart
Deceiving one of the other
Such weight upon my heart

Lost in Somewhere Forest
Both prison and maze
Living a life both in
And out of phase

A Romeo, a Juliet
Pain time won’t forget
Deception with a touch of gold
Moments of regret

An end of time
An end of me
Is there anything
Left to see

D
10/19/2006

So What Is Loving

"So What Is Loving"

So what is loving?
Is it weak?
Is it strong?
Is it knowing that you should walk away?
Or is it finding understanding,
Knowing you should stay?

Is strong loving,
In spite of the pain?
Or is strong running,
From what seems insane?

So what is loving?
Is it weak?
Is it strong?
And how do you know where to draw the line,
Just where exactly,
You belong?

d
04 11 08

Could I Ever Find The Words

"Could I Ever Find The Words"

Could I ever find the words?
The words to help you see.

Could I ever find the words?
That say I need you to care for me.

Could I ever find the words?
That would change your mind.

Could I ever find the words?
So my heart you could find.

Could I ever find the words?
To express the way I feel.

Could I ever find the words?
To prove that any of this Was real.

d
02/22/2006

You and I

"You and I"

There are still the times
When I think of you and I
I just set and wonder
Staring at the sky

Such an enormous feeling
Leaving me empty inside
All the months and days
I have sit and cried

I question the reason
Why I was to feel
A love so strong
Why I feel it still

Sometimes I remember
Still the days I cry
Wondering what was missed
When I think of you and I

D
01/2006

A Heart Unwilling

"A Heart Unwilling"

A lack of conviction
The words wander astray
Uncertainty betrays the pen
A loss of words to say

Fear of hope
Fear of love
A heart unwilling
To rise above

Unwilling to lift itself
From a tortured past
So afraid there is nothing
That truly lasts

D
05/14/2006

My Side

"My Side"

Lonely are these days.
Lonely are these times.
When I can see the sun,
But it never really shines.

Lonely are these nights.
Lonely are these dreams.
I could cry my tears,
In never ending streams.

I can always hope.
Leave a candle burning.
You will not see its light.
So I am forever yearning.

Just a lonely fool.
With a lonely heart.
As I set here waiting.
For my life to start.

I can hope someday.
That you will finally see.
How I feel.
What you mean to me.

I will probably wait forever.
Just to wait some more.
And I will remain on my side.
Of this miracles door.

d
04/10/2006

Picture Frames Left Empty

"Picture Frames Left Empty"

I had something special once,
I think it's gone.
I suppose in some kind of sense,
I've known all along.

Walk away so silent,
Leaving only echo's in the halls.
The phone it sets silent,
Nobody calls.

Picture frames left empty,
Just white behind the frames.
Memories forced to silence,
Such a silly game.

d
05 20 08

The Banking Mess

           

The Banking Mess

           

(in very generalized laymen’s terms – and I am NOT AN EXPERT OR AUTORITY ON THE MATTER)

    

Several years back, the Federal Government did a study and they discovered that when banks were giving loans they were giving/approving loans preferentially.  That is to say, if you lived in ‘a bad part of town’ it was much more difficult to get financing because of location.

      

As I understand it, the Feds told banks that was being prejudice and they needed to offer better opportunities for the under qualified borrowers.

    

In response to this, the banks began to develop financing for @ risk borrowers, one of these plans was called an ARM Loan.

    

ARM stands for Adjustable Rate Mortgage.  So you would get a loan that was typically a two or three year ARM.  After the first two or three years, your interest rate would adjust automatically dictated by the current LIBOR (the standard international interest rate amount, look up LIBOR if you want to know more).

    

After your ARM period your loans interest rate could adjust to the current LIBOR +3%.  This adjustment would be revalued every 6 months and your interest rate would change.

     

INTENDED BENEFIT – Provide @ risk borrowers with the financing to prove that they could afford the payment and then have them refinance their loan before the first interest rate adjustment happened.  They would have an established payment history and could refinance to a fixed rate with an affordable loan.

    

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED – People got greedy, brokers, loan officers, buyers and even appraisers.  If you give good values to properties with these low interest rates (because they were ARMS) you get more money.  Good Appraisers get more business, loan officers make bigger commissions, and banks have excellent payment histories on loans that are performing perfectly.

      

WHAT BROUGHT IT DOWN – Many of the borrowers were very ignorant of the type of loan they were getting.  The DID NOT understand how it worked and how important it was to refinance before the interest rate adjustment occurred.  Suddenly their payments went up easily by 300 dollars a month and that’s on the low end.

    

Loans were defaulting across the board and everyone started scrambling not really understanding what was going on.

     

I will use myself as an example:  My house was probably worth between 55 to 65k.  My appraisal came back at almost 100k.  I took the loan, got cash out (like 30,000 which I ignorantly blew) and my payment was around 650 / month.  I fully intended to refinance before my ARM kicked in.

    

I forgot.  My house payment went up to nearly 1000 bucks a month; it took almost 4 months for me to manage to get a refinance.  In the end I had to walk away from my home.

     

The simplest nutshell I can put this in is this.

    

My home was over appraised; the bank gave me 30,000 dollars that never really existed.  I defaulted on it and the finance company had to eat that loss.  All of the investors that invested in that bank shared the loss, the investors that invest in those investors had to eat some of that loss and the hedge funds had to eat the loss AND the REALLY REALLY REALLY BIG INVESTORS who invest in the Hedge Funds had to eat the loss.

     

The top layer of investors have not even seen the losses hit their books yet, it could take a couple more years for the BIG MONEY investors to actually see the loss because they do investments in bundles of things that they don’t even know what their investment money is being put into.

    

So at the end of the day, each and every loan across the nation and in several countries was financed on over appraised properties.  The financial people gave loans against equity that didn’t exist and by the time the borrowers (all the millions of people at the very bottom of this chain) began to realize and understand the mess they were in, it was too late and millions of people couldn’t afford their adjusted mortgage payment.  Home gets foreclosed; borrower got the excess cash so it’s gone.  Banks have to eat the losses and it trickles up through several layers of investors.

    

This also happened on commercial properties (hotels, malls, city developments, etc., etc., etc.). 

    

So the government had to intervene.  The financial institutions ‘created and gave out money that never existed’ that money still doesn’t exist, but it has been spent.  It is gone and they are trying to stave off a meltdown of unimaginable proportions

    

This explanation is incomplete, it isn’t anywhere near perfect and it’s not meant to be, I’m just a pee-on and this is an EXTREMELY SIMPLE EXPLANATION of A TERRIBLY COMPLEX SERIES OF EVENTS.

    

I hope it at least answered some questions for you.

    

So who wants to play Monopoly?

Another Dead Faggot

“Another Dead Faggot”

So what is it going to take?

Another dead faggot on the news?

Another young person to jump from a bridge,

Just a few blocks from my house or yours?

I’m sure you read about that other dead faggot.

That one who left that note.

The one who’s friends forgot,

No one could understand what they wrote.

If you are gay there are people who hate you.

Whether you admit it or not it’s true.

What’s it going to take to get you to notice?

Another dead faggot or two?

Because when enough attention is given,

And the bashers find it harder and harder to find their prey.

I'd rather not know the person who’s death,

Heralds the change that day.

And the haters will cuss another dead faggot,

Who’s death finally brought the world around.

But the ones already lost,

Those are dreams that can never be found.

Another dead faggot is that what’s required,

For people to look up and open their eyes?

While surviving family and friends can do nothing,

But dry the tears they will cry.

Maybe they will lobby for stricter laws,

For the pointless hateful crimes.

The days come faster and faster,

Will it be in your time?

I'm not trying to frighten you.

I'm trying to reach your heart.

Just know who you are,

Know your surroundings and keep it smart.

Danny Gunter

2-15-2011

My Testament

    

“My Testament“

I know a lot of people,

Believe me ridiculous.

Since I’ve no desire,

For another rendezvous.

 

With someone who might be able,

To reach out and touch my heart.

But I’ve no intention again of being,

Torn asunder ripped apart.

 

But it’s not so dark,

I don’t feel it dismal.

My soul has known the deepest love.

But few people are who they appear.

 

It messed me up.

It left me full of rage.

And I don’t think it’s healthy,

Living in that cage.

 

I understand my limits and know I can,

Love with the deepest part of me.

I have topped that mountain.

The path is too treacherous from what I’ve seen.

I don’t enjoy my hatred,

My hurt or resentment.

But I have touched and felt it.

And I'm happy to let that be my testament.

Danny Gunter

2-14-2011

Iowa grandmother speaks in favor of gay marriage

I'm Right Here

"I'm Right Here"

I'm right here,
I'm gently knocking at the door.
I'm right here,
Can't you see me anymore?

It's hard on me,
Seeing so much in you.
Never quite sure what to say,
What to do.

It hurts,
Being here alone.
One of the most difficult things,
I've ever known.

So hard when,
They can't or don't.
Maybe,
They just won't.

But I'm right here,
I'm gently knocking at the door.
I'm right here,
Can't you see me anymore?

d
05 18 08

One Way or the Other

"One Way or the Other"

Probably won't turn out the way I hope.
But at least,
I can say I tried.
Even after all,
The tears I've cried.

That's something,
Isn't it?
Though it's not,
Over yet.

It's not done,
And can't say for certain,

But one way or the other,

I'll soon lay to rest,
This heart that's hurting.

d
05 15 08

Dancing With The Words

"Dancing With The Words"

Dancing with the words.
Adrift inside the thoughts.
Just a broken heart.
The world forgot.

Lie beneath the stars.
Memories blow upon the wind.
Still mourning the loss.
My love, my best friend.

The stream moves slowly.
Over jagged rocks.
Rocks so much smoother.
Than my thoughts.

Dancing with the words.
Adrift inside the thoughts.
Just a broken heart.
My world forgot.

d
07/04/2006

If I Knew

"If I Knew"

From finish to start,
I never really knew how it would go.
I can't predict the future,
How could I have known.

My life became impossibly dark,
Suffering this fall.
I couldn't count the times,
I questioned your call.

How often I questioned,
Being with you.
Given the choice would it be,
Something I would do?

If I knew how it would go?
If I knew how it would end?
If I knew how far into the dark,
I would descend?

Yeah, I would have loved you anyway.
Really not much more I could say.

I know there is probably,
No way back.
Still it's nice,
Knowing that.

I would have loved you anyway.

d
05 29 08

Yesterday, Tomorrow and Today

"Yesterday, Tomorrow and Today"

Oh my God,
He hoped and he loved.
He wished that his heart,
Would rise above.

A heart can rise,
And it can believe.
But sometimes,
There's no way to retrieve.

Love can be broken,
Love can be wrong.
Leaves a heart wondering,
Where it belongs.

There are no easy answers,
There is no easy way.
When you try to reconcile,
Yesterday, tomorrow and today.

d
06 07 08

Sometimes I Remember

"Sometimes I Remember"

I have felt love
Beyond the minds ability to conceive
Maybe setting there reading
It is hard to believe

Captured in a feeling
So vast, unending
Naught through time
Can there be ending

Such visions
Are ever so rare
Only in the darkest of times
Can you become so aware

A feeling beyond description
A brilliance beyond compare
Sometimes I remember
As through the window I stare

Watching wind and rain
Gently stir the leaves
As this widow
Quietly grieves

d
11/24/06

A Common Story

"A Common Story"

So empty, so broken,
So fragile, so cold.
Not one of the greatest,
Stories ever told.

A common story,
An ordinary theme.
Just the end of a heart's ability,
To hope and dream.

Try very hard,
To hide the tears I cry.
Hide behind a smile,
When I know it's just a lie.

I'm not good a lying,
Never have been.
I just can't help it,
When I drift back to then.

d
05 26 08

I'm Still Here

"I'm Still Here"

Sure, I'd been in love before.
But it was the first time someone loved me back.
I've gotta say,
I'd never felt anything like that.

Before I met you,
Before you held me that night.
I can't think of a single thing in my life,
That ever felt more right.

Of course things haven't gone,
How I'd hoped they would.
I'd change past events,
If only I could.

Today's and tomorrows,
Aren't mine to predict and give.
The best I can do is just get by,
And live.

Here by myself is frightening,
I do my best not to fear.
All I can really offer is this,
I'm still here.

d
06 01 08

All But Faded

"All But Faded"

Chaos littered everywhere,
Jagged thoughts run my mind.
Jerked between today's tomorrow,
And days left behind.

So much to do,
With no desire to do it.
Sleepless I wonder.
How dark can it get?

Bitter and broken,
Jagged and jaded.
A once bright light,
Has all but faded.

d
06 06 08

So Much Gone

"So Much Gone"

I simply said I love you
There was no reply

Now I find my laughter
In very short supply

The nights it seems are longer
The days go by so fast

Even when I dare to dream
The dreams they never last

The sun is not so brilliant
It doesn't feel as warm

Clouds no matter how pretty
They always bring a storm

The wind is not so gentle
The trees no longer wave

It would seem with so much gone
There is nothing left to save

Dg – 01/2006 r
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